Larry Clark

This was today;

Converse lowtops in high blades of grass,
fired hands with bitter animosity,
Milk flavoured chocolate.
Reading me stories with your limbs,
hands, eyes, legs, knees.

and lips.
And how you kiss with a lot,
and the taste of cigarettes
and your process seems so unknown;
A statistical errata in my mind, you are.

Larry Clark, sweet Jimmy Dean
perhaps you enjoy Bogart
I never thought to ask.
an exchange of nothingness,
afraid of committment- or any pass of judgement.

Oh, how you contain such obscure notions
about the world and it's inhabitants.
apparently ' drinking poisoned time.'
and when your chest moved-or rather harmonised
I tried to conduct.

And when under city heat lamps
your bisexual promiscuousness excites me
because of the magazines I read at age thirteen
told me how women should be

We hadn't talked for a long time, and I think I understand why.
How you were beyond my understanding, I think.

Cubic centremetres

Cubicle Culture:
Toilets have always been a large medium of communication in Melbourne. The toilets in the 24 hour McDonalds has scrawled "call 567890-098765 for a good time", which reflects the clientele of the cubicles. I've always been bemused by the amount of people who decide to write whilst relieving themselves. I've discovered, however, that whenever I come to some catharses in a public cubicle that I always lack the essential writing tools. This is where university differs. The toilets at the university always contain witty banter and as such are a source of entertainment and necessity. The walls of the toilet all indicate the type of company the toilet keeps; the arts faculty toilets have elaborate artistic interpretations and the engineers lack the grammatical capacity of the commerce department. Of course there is the traditional "call me for a good time" scrawls and the occasional "I fucked your mum" , which are soon followed by "Dad, you're drunk .Go home" .

Nevertheless the toilets at the university allow for the establishment of a complex communication system such as extended topical discussions. One of which I recall being an account of a man that had a fetish for using the female toilets. Each week he would use the same toilet; savouring the thrill of being in the opposite genders place. Here are some memorable ones I've seen;

"Does it ever scare you how much knowledge is kept in these walls?"

"It's all relative"

"Scientific discovery may not be better than sex, but the satisfaction lasts

longer"  -- Stephen Hawking 

"Schrodinger may have been here"

"There once was a woman from bright
who could travel faster that light
She set out one day in a relative way
and returned the previous night"

Or simpler jokes such as the toilet paper dispensers bearing the instruction "pull for arts degree".

J'taime

Heart In A Cage

-I hate pimples. I don't think there are many things so unnecessary as pimples or other skin imperfections. If I didn't believe in god, that would be why.

-I met a girl today who I thought was really cool. An exchange student for those who live in far off places. She was pretty neat; she enjoyed sex a lot, I could tell by the amount of contraceptives she was carrying. She thought racist jokes were hilarious (they are). She told us not to tip. She was very Melbourne.

-I have so many exams this week. One more marker of time to forget.

-I wish I could read your mind.

-This will be a fun weekend. Lots of substance, kissing, wandering, Movies, dancing, parties, music, and more wonderful things. Ah, it's good to be young.

Four lines to give this more purpose:

Complaints sung out of tune
Aliens on Jupiter's first moon
Occasional guests to dinner
As my conscience gets thinner

Library of State

Today I decided to venture into the city to study as usual on my days off. Today I was adamant not to spend the day shopping so I decided to tell NO ONE i was going to the library ^^. The library was as usual during exam time ; full of students trying to masturbate their way around the last 12 weeks. It was a collision of studious masturbation. Venturing up the stairs to find the last remaining study space in the whole library, I manage to find a spot right next to Ryan; a fellow i'd become well acquainted with the past 12 weeks. Ryan; environmentalist, American, suave and deadly guilty of contracting yellow fever. Today he was in his element. We conversed about my friend Elanors' theory that as a man becomes taller, his attractiveness increases exponentially. I agree with this theory.

Ryan also enlightened me on how Metal Gear Solid is just a plethora of sexual innuendo and how Australias off-flow rate is twice of consumption. As an individual he is very enlightening. Which reminds me of Cye, whom I met on Thursday night at an art opening. Cye was intellectually draining ; one of those 'everyday people' that are seldom met in everyday life. That night I found it hard to breathe. After spending the day studying (or attempting to) to being thrown into a concoction of artist personalities it reminded me of why I was studying engineering and not trying to solve the worlds problems with clay and paint. Other things have been happening as well ; but I can't discuss them, it's against the rules.

This is an edit. I thought of something as I went outside to solace a reason to going outside. I found one in a glass of Fruitopia. I hate hurting animals, directly, personally. This is strange as I claim to not care about animal rights. However, last night I was walking through the dark of my house at midnight and I kicked my dog who was sleeping on the floorboards in the kitchen. He grumbled and walked off. My problem with hurting animals is that they cannot possibly appreciate my attempts at seeking forgiveness, let alone intentions in general. Humans forget, forgive, have mood swings. Animals just see your feet as means of pain. Shouldn't I have a problem with leather and eating every edible animal? I don't know. I suppose I like the idea of lives that definitely have purpose, even if it is a temporary one. Plus it's very much a subjective moral principle, to me. I suppose I wouldn't mind eating human or wearing their skin if I had always been raised as that being the norm. This is all pretty obvious and absurd so I just go do my homework.

"It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society." J. Krishnamurti (1895-1986)

Exams are for colons.

Code	Subject	Exam Date & Time	Exam Venue	Duration	Reading	Open Book	Dept	Paper	Seat Number
126-126	German Beginners Language and Culture A	Wed 18 JUN 2:15 p.m.	REB Rathdowne	2 hrs	15 mins				753
610-101	Chemistry 1	Tue 17 JUN 9:30 a.m.	REB Nicholson	3 hrs	15 mins				1834
620-154	Calculus 1	Thu 19 JUN 9:30 a.m.	REB Nicholson	3 hrs	15 mins				1548
800-001	Engineering Systems Design 1	Wed 18 JUN 9:30 a.m.	REB Nicholson	3 hrs	15 mins				1637

This looks like the epitome of anti-fun. But to be honest, exams don't really phase me anymore...

I have far too much study to do ;D. My Saphtron has been taken to the monkeys in grease. The Bob Dylan film was more confusing than something else moderately confusing. Also; my stomach keeps trying to communicate with extra-terrestrial beings through some sort of gurgling morse code. This, however, amuses me because it is a nice way to break an awkward silence. Scott subscribes to the idea that no silence is awkward until someone labels that way. I disagree. What else? I'm wearing a groovy t-shirt that has different textured material ; I believe this somewhat reflects my zany sense of character; or my bad sense of fashion. ;D. Scott is tall.

Waltz #2

"Of all the beer and speeches I'm trying to forget, your face I do remember"

I like this

Track 3

"please don..t wake me
no don..t shake me
leave me where i am
i..m only sleeping..."
i..m only sleeping/revolver/track 3/ The Beatles

Do you believe that true bisexuality can exist? Like, without preference?

My current theory is that sexuality is a product of socialization and is not innate, so therefore everyone is bisexual. However I believe it truly is "sexual preference" and therefore one is more attracted to a certain sex. However, is it possible that there are some bisexuals that are equally attracted both sexes?

Cucumbers

It's an canary egg and cucumber sparkler day of autumn outside, but I'm stuck inside doing mundane computer activities because I have misplaced priorities or something.
I am okay with that , however, because there is something better than the weather in my life.

Optimism...

Generic Ethic Upbeat Heartfelt Poem -R.K-Roberts

If you got no job, good. You got more time for fun.
If you got job, good. You got money, for fun.

If you got no girl or boy, good. You got freedom.
If you got a girl or boy, good. You got love.

If you got sickness, good. You got no work or school.
If you got no sickness, good. You are better off than most of the world.

Wasn't that short and sweet?

Innate Luxury

In tangible matters, I'm feeling much better.
I don't have so much work to complete anymore. That is a good thing. What else? My ins/outs ups and downs are looking more aesthetically appealing nowadays. Although aesthetics have always been phased in and out for me.
I hate the word blogging, to me it is the equivalent of 'media'. Media is just another word for 'bad journalism'.
....

Home before eleven on a friday. High. Hi.

Sitting in blankets on the floor.

Paying attention to the lyrics.

Any relevance decayed.

Yawn.

Face's red.

Fast food aftertaste.

Eerie feelings of disaster

dismissed by innate luxuries.

Really ridiculous state of affairs, really.
....

Can't Elope

Tonight I find it hard to breathe. I am a horrible procrastinator. If procrastination was rape, I'd be the worst person ever.

I have so much to do. I feel like I'm drowning and as if everything is one helpless leap onto another. I feel like im being suffocated under a beach, I know there is something good happening above me but all I can concentrate on are the miniscule pieces of rock that decieve my view.

So heres my list of things to do:

-Chem re-test (hopefully) because answering 1/30 questions isnt a good start.
-Learn engineering stuff
-Read/obtain some form of Engineering book to do the above
- Calculus study
-German Vocab study
-German Listening Study
-Purchase E-ball costume
-Chem questions
-get Chem lab stuff
-work more shifts at work
-german homework
-calculus questions from the blue book of doom.

This looks like a lot. But by Thursday this list will only have 1-2 things left.

These are things i don't understand:

Toast: Why does heating up bread make such a difference? I love toast so much; regular bread just doesn't compare. Same thing applies to bagels. A toasted bagel with butter from Hudsons will set you back 99 cents, but the experience is worth it

Digital audio: how do all this magnificent noises happen somewhere then because they are captured somehow are allowed to come out my speakers.

90% of the people who come to myspacet: How do they not realize their taste in everything is atrocious?

Pro-war people: I can understand supporting liberation of the people in a foriegn nation from tyranny or something, but there are people out there who will support a war in a foreign nation unquestioningly.

Cameras: How do they work?

Hinduism: It's very complicated.

Why mary jane isn't legal: Though it may cause stupidity, I don't see how it's worse than alchohol or cigarettes.

Love: I think I am with the rest of the world on this one.

Over and Out ^

Catastrophy Averted

I was in the middle of writing a long entry about the end of the world. then I opened my blinds, then I put on Mos Def. The world may end, but until then it is all that is is beautiful. The air may be polluted, but it is still your's to breathe. The sun may burn your skin, but it grows your food, and keeps us alive. The water may go through a million chlorine cycles, but renews us every morning and/or night and sustains us, period.

Cortex

Oh mood swings, you are the best feeling in the world. After months of feeling dead, full of self doubt, irritability, and anxiety, I finally feel really amazing again. What is it called when you are at the bottom of the bottom for a while, then the top of top? Hmm.

So it’s almost 1am on some idle Tuesday morning, and for as long as I can remember I’ve had trouble sleeping. In fact my first memory is waking up in my crib and trying to get back to sleep, suggesting that I’ve always had this ailment. I do not mind being awake , though, I feel it grants me advantage over some others. For one, I do not prioritise sleep, in fact, sleep falls just below the regretful ’nutbush dance at a family members wedding’ catergory. When I was in year 9, I was lucky enough to get half an hour sleep per night- but I didn’t complain as the works of Plato, Ben Elton and the occasional Stephen King novel was available to entertain.

When I was in prep, my best friend Courtney told me that we wouldnt need sleep in a million years because we would all be heads in liquidied jars. I liked this idea.

I need to travel. I’d always envisaged a time where I’d be in constant transit.
I need to write more. I do not want to become illiterate.
I need to be more sympathetic. I don’t want to become unlikeable.
I need to study more. I don’t want to fall behind in the large scheme of things.
I need more sunlight. I don’t want to shapeshift into the perplexed,pale girl again.

Summer seems impossible right now. The morning frost is high and the pavements is contagously dirty with salt. Uni heaves itself into every part of my life, no matter how hard I try to forget about it. I rarely leave the house, rarely leave my room. Sometimes I work My old haunts are gone, the record shops and exotic restaurants. My summer friends are slowly fading as they are renewed into Winter trends.

It makes me want to leave here forever.

Perhaps I’ll do some more reading tonight. An excessive lethargy turns the soul to sludge.

Intellectual Masturbation

Intellectual Masturbation

i am an irregular bloggetter and it has been a while since i’ve scrawled my feelings down to an entry. I’ve seen some ups and downs and middles and outsides and corners and triangles and ratios and eugenics experiments and that bullshit. I’ve seen people come and go as quickly as a US presidential campaign and I can’t seem to remember half of what has happened in the past week. Thank god I’ve got this outlet for my plugs, so to speak.

First of all, the biggie smalls of my life , University of Melbourne. It’s a strange place. I found it very disappointing, intellectually. You expect a school ranked in the top 30 worldwide to be some kind of utopian communian of knowledge. Instead you get people you are good at looking like they have something to say, and people who are bad at looking like they have something to say, but that doesn’t stop them. Neither of these groups actually contribute, they just masterbate all over the room. Not that I have any thing against masterbation, but I think it’s something you should do either by yourself, or with those you love, and love you back. Even the professors and teacher’s assistants often suffer from some form of similar disease. So many of them will just read from the text while occasionally adding their perspective when they so feel generous enough to deem the 100 or so poor souls in front of them qualified candidates.

To add to this vile of intellectual disappointment, the people there are cool but there’s a certain air of prestigiousness that I can’t seem to live upto. I am, however, fine with this because this is who I am.

That almost sounds like I am generalizing about the whole place, but luckily I have solid evidence against such a perspective. A very smart lecturer, and another very small class with good material keep enrolled. My subjects aren’t very creative, nor imaginative, but this is good for someone like me. Sometimes it’s better to be just asked to add and subtract rather than conjure up an opinion for which no one will care less about. The school is huge and the fresher the student, the less the place cares about you. It’s a tough nut to crack. Many classes work against you, in fact. I am fairly sure they put me in certain classes because they thought I was going to fail.

So for the future anyway, I think I’ll move to Amsterdam/Berlin. It just seems so right for me. The people there are more open to ideas and open to experiences. The strange cults and sexual exploits can always denote a red zone in central Europe on my year 12 Geography map- not that I’d want any of that. But it’s all about opportunity and those strange fixations are more watering holes for those that think that they may want to drink someday.

Depite what you have just read, I am not joining a cult. In fact, the closest thing I have ever become to joining a cult is the various strange university clubs they make available to us coy first years. I have joined a fair few. Germany will hopefully have something I’m searching for. And as humans, our instinct is always to search. Searching for employment, soulmates, friends, family, a place to call our home. No matter what we find, there is always something else to seek out. I wonder if there is someone who believes-truly, that they no longer have to search for anything.

I read this book awhile ago. It was about a guy who was certain that everything that life had for him was in Zanzibar. He was so contrived on this idea of utter completion, that he sold his life to travelling there. I am not one to spoil endings, so maybe one day you’ll find the book whose name escapes me.

I’m hoping that Engineering in Germany will become my Zanzibar

of End, The

Funeral by The Arcade Fire is a perfect album. It's a shame they may never reach that height again. Because of this, they are slowly getting slept on. Sort of.
I had the privellege of seeing them at the Big Day Out on Monday. It was all I had hoped for and more. And I think I'm in love/lust/awe of this creature:


A thought just occured to me. What if at this moment some great explosive weapon has been launched and is about to zap mankind and all its achievements into energy and dust, (specifically unorganized energy and dust)? I'd be okay with it, as I probably wouldn't notice. It would be like turning off a television show. The characters can't' argue with you to spend more time with them.

Well, all of this was a waste of time because the world wasn't zapped. Fuck

How the world works

If I didn't want this, then I'd want something else

Machine Gun Wedding

1) A good relationship will only come from the people who give you sparks and flutters in your gut. Everything else, is just friendship or false
2) Never, ever take the electric people in your life for granted. That keeps things fresh, and realistic
3) The only good satisfying reason to break with someone is if you don't love them. I think that you can only love people that love you. Else, the world is fooling you, and you are wrong if you think there is a one sided love that could evolve.

Something

And I think that something is summer.

It's nice that the days can pass without your permission; I'm sure I would be stuck on a day in April. I still haven't figured things out, but I have lots of new clothes (and friends) which is exciting, and quite a bit of new music too. Also, I take long runs now, which beats the fuck right out of me. Right out. By the end of each session, I feel like I've being having sex all my life, and never had a good night's sleep. Being finished school is great, though I barely made it. I've forgotten all about it. And thus im relieved.

My life has always been boy-centric; I had my first boyfriend at four, his name was Matt. Pretty much ever since then I've revolved my life around the pursuit of romance. This makes things very complicated sometimes.

Sometimes.

Sometimes I'm not sure I want any of it, and I tell myself that this is the only way to be. However, it is that unavoidable facet of instinct that drives us to feeling something for someone. ( Or is it that I've just had too much to drink?). Whatever it is, it's usual a fruitless indiana-jones adventure to void lonliness. It only happens on silver screens.

I don't know what I am going to do this summer. I've got a new job at EB - a dream come true. I can now seethe in all the nerdy glory of the retail world. I guess i'll just socialise with friends, attempt to make some money and look forward to the future, those things will all happen. I will also go to some local shows, especially The Vasco Era.Crystal Castles next thursday at the Click Clocl. I want to go see Xiu Xiu when they come to Australia.Next year I may start university - i hope it's all i've ever dreamt of . Next week I will write a lot of words. The week after I will draw a lot of pictures. I may figure some things out; I will get more confused.

Stay out of trouble, and love :)

A few of my favourite things

Bright Eyes, Placebo, End OF Fashion, Wolfmother, Bloc Party, Radiohead, The Violent Femmes, The Libertines, Arctic Monkeys, The Living End, ted leo and the pharmacists, the underground critics, ash, snowman, weezer, you am i, the flaming lips, ben kweller, sonic youth, thin lizzy, supergrass, elliott smith, british sea power, bright eyes, the devoted few, grandaddy, betchadupa, ozma, the vasco era, sigur ros, electrelane, death cab for cutie, iron and wine, 52 teenagers, daft punk, the mars volta, the smiths, hole, the cure, blondie, the cops, the postal service, bright eyes, modest mouse, cursive, death from above 1979, dragonforce, mum, the thrills, led zeppelin, the living end, !!!, ...trail of dead, a-ha, air, arab on radar, the arcade fire, architecture in helsinki, art brut, at the drive in, the avalanches, azure ray, badly drawn boy, the bank holidays, beck, belle and sebastian, ben folds, beulah, the birthday party, the black keys, bloc party, blueline medic, blur, bob dylan, bob marley, bonnie prince billy, the chalets, charlotte hatherley, chisel, the crayon fields, cut copy, the dears, depeche mode, desaparecidos, devendra banhart, dogs die in hot cars, the doves, the dresden dolls, duran duran, echo and the bunnymen, eighties matchbox, elefant, evermore, the faint, felix da housecat, garbage, ghost, the gingers, the go! team, godspeed you! black emperor, gorillaz, grand fatal, grandaddy, greg davis, ground components, gwen stefani, har mar superstar, helen love, hot hot heat, imperial teen, interpol, isis, jay z, john vanderslice, joy division, joy zipper, kate bush, kings of leon, lcd soundsystem, les savy fav, letters to cleo, liars, the libertines, m83, magic dirt, the magic numbers, ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, .38 Special, 112, 13&;God, 2Pac, 30 Seconds to Mars, a-Ha, A Flock of Seagulls, A Perfect Circle, A Tribe Called Quest, AFI, Aaron Sprinkle, Abandoned Pools, AC/DC, The Academy Is..., Acceptance, Ace of Base, Aceyalone, Aerosmith, Air, Alanis Morisette, The Album Leaf, Alcazar, Alkaline Trio, All-American Rejects, All 4 One, Allister, America, American Football, American Hi-Fi, Anberlin, Andrew WK, The Anniversary, Antony &; the Johnsons,Aphex Twin, Aqua, Aqualung, The Arcade Fire, Architecture in Helsinki, Arctic Monkeys, Armor for Sleep, As I Lay Dying, Ashley Parker Angel, Asia, At the Drive-In, Athlete, Atreyu, Augustana, Avril Lavigne, Babyface, Babyshambles, Badly Drawn Boy, Baltimora, Band of Horses, The Bangles, The Beach Boys, The Beatles, Beck, Bedouin Soundclash, Belle &; Sebastian, Ben Folds, Ben Kweller, The Bens, Berlin, The Beta Band, Better than Ezra, Billy Idol, Billy Joel, Binary Star, Bjork, Black Black Ocean, The Black Crowes, Black Eyed Peas, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Black Star, Blackalicious, Blackpool Lights, The Bled, Bleeding Through, Blind Guardian, Blind Melon, Blindside, Blink-182, Bloc Party, The Blood Brothers, Bloodhound Gang, Blue Oyster Cult, Blumchen, Blur, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley &; the Wailers, Bob Seger, Bone Thugs N Harmony, Box Car Racer, Boyz II Men, Brand New, Brandtson, The Bravery, The Brian Jonestown Massacre, Bright Eyes, Broken Social Scene, The Bronx, Bruce Hornsby, Bruce Springsteen, Buckcherry, Buggles, Built to Spill, Bumblebeez81, Bush, Butch Walker, Butthole Surfers, Caesars, Cardigans, Carla Bruni, The Cars, Cartel, Cat Power, Chamillionaire, The Chariot, Cheap Trick, Chemical Brothers, Charlie Parker, Chicago, Chingy, Christina Aguilera, Circa Survive, Citizen King, cKy, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, The Clash, Codeseven, Coheed &; Cambria, Coldplay, Cold War Kids, Colin Hay, Collective Soul, The Colour, Common, Coolio, are you still reading? I didn't think people would make it past C. I'll keep going though, just for you. Copeland, The Coral, Counting Crows, Cracker, Craig David, Crash Test Dummies, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Crosby, Stills, Nash &; Young, Cunninlynguists, The Cure, Cursive, Cyndi Lauper, Da'ze, Daft Punk, Daler Mehndi, Damien Rice, The Damnwells, Dan Keyes, The Dandy Warhols, Danger Mouse, The Darkness, Dashboard Confessional, Dave Matthews Band, David Bowie, David Gray, Days Away, Dead Prez, Death Cab for Cutie, Death from Above 1979, The Decemberists, Deftones, Delta Spirit, Del tha Funkee Homosapien / Deltron3030, Depeche Mode, Desaparecidos, Devendra Banhart, Dilated Peoples, Dishwalla, Dispatch, The Distillers, DMX, Don't Look Down, Don Henley, Don McLean, Doobie Brothers, The Doors, Down to Earth Approach, Dr. Dre, Dragonforce, Duncan Sheik, The Early November, Earth Wind &; Fire, Echo &; the Bunnymen, Ed Gein, Editors, Eels, Eiffel 65, Eighteen Visions, Eisley, Electric Six, Elefant, Elkland, Elliot Smith, Elton John, Emanuel, Eminem, Erasure, Eric Clapton, Europe, Eurythmics, Eva Cassidy, Eve 6, Everlast, Every Time I Die, Everything, Explosions in the Sky, Facing New York, The Faint, The Fall of Troy, Fall Out Boy, Fastball, Fat Joe, Fear Before the March of Flames, Feeder, Fiona Apple, The Flaming Lips, Foo Fighters, Foreigner, The Format, Frank Sinatra, Franz Ferdinand, The Fray, Frou Frou, The Fugees, Further Seems Forever, The Futureheads, Gary Jules, Gatsby's American Dream, Genesis, George Harrison, The Get Up Kids, Geto Boyz, Ghostface Killah, Gin Blossoms, Glassjaw, The Gloria Record, Gnarls Barkley, The Go! Team, Goo Goo Dolls, Gorillaz, The Grates, Green Day, Guns N Roses, Gwen Stefani, Gym Class Heroes, Haddaway, Hall and Oates, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Hanson, Hard-Fi, Harry Chapin, Head Automatica, Heart, Hellogoodbye, Hello Stranger, Her Space Holiday, Hieroglyphics, Hilary Duff, The Hives, The Honorary Title, Hootie &; the Blowfish, Hot Hot Heat, Hot Rod Circuit, Howard Jones, Howie Day, Huey Lewis and the News, Ice Cube, Idlewild, Immortal Technique, Imogen Heap, Incubus, Interpol, Jack's Mannequin, Jagged Edge, James Taylor, Jamiroquai, Jane's Addiction, Jay-Z, The Jayhawks, Jeff Buckley, Jefferson Starship, Jet, Jethro Tull, Jets to Brazil, Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Eat World, Joan Osborne, Joe Cocker, John Coltrane, John Denver, John Legend, John Lennon, John Mayer, John Cougar Mellencamp, John Secada, Johnny Cash, Josh Rouse, Joss Stone, Journey, Joy Division, The Juliana Theory, Juliette and the Licks, Junior Boys, Jurassic 5, Justin Timberlake, Juvenile, Kanye West, Karate High School, Kasabian, Katy Rose, Keane, Kelly Clarkson, Kenna, Kenny Loggins, The Killers, The Kills, Killswitch Engage, Kings of Convenience, Kings of Leon, The Kinison, The Kinks, Koufax, KT Tunstall, Kylie Minogue, Lady Sovereign, Lauryn Hill, LCD Soundsystem, Led Zepplin, Letter Kills, The Letters Organize, Libertines, Lily Allen, Limbeck, Lisa Loeb, Lit, Live, The Locust, Longwave, Lorene Drive, Lou Reed, Louis XIV, Louise Attaque, Lovedrug, Lucero, Ludacris, Lupe Fiasco, M83, Macho Man Randy Savage, I can't believe you're still reading this list. Madonna, Mae, The Magic Numbers, Malkit Singh, The Mamas &; the Papas, Mando Diao, Marilyn Manson, Marjorie Fair, Maroon 5, The Mars Volta, Matisyahu, Matt Nathanson, Maximo Park, Meatloaf, Melee, Men At Work, Mest, Mew, MF Doom, Michael Jackson, Michelle Branch, Midtown, Mike Jones, Miles Davis, Millencolin, Minus the Bear, Modern English, Moments in Grace, Mos Def, The Most Serene Republic, Motion City Soundtrack, The Mountain Goats, The Muffs, Mute Math, My American Heart, N*E*R*D, NWA, Nada Surf, Naked Eyes, Name Taken, Nappy Roots, Nas, Natalie Imbruglia, Natasha Bedingfield, Neil Diamond, Neil Young, Nelly, Neon Blonde, The New Amsterdams, New Edition, New Found Glory, New Order, The New Pornographers, New Radicals, Nick Drake, Nickelback...?, Nine Black Alps, Nine Days, Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, Norah Jones, Norma Jean, Northstar, Notorious BIG, Number One Fan, Number One Gun, O-Zone, Oasis, Of Montreal, The Offspring, Oingo Boingo, OK Go, ODB, OMC, The Outfield, Outkast, Over It, Owen, The Pale Pacific, Paloalto, Panic! at the Disco, Park, Pat Benetar, Paul Chandel, Paul Simon, Pavement, Pearl Jam, Pedro the Lion, People Under the Stairs, Pete Townshend, Pete Yorn, Peter Gabriel, Peter Schilling, Phantom Planet, Phil Collins, Phoenix, Piebald, Pink Floyd, The Pink Spiders, Pixies, Placebo, Plain White T's, The Police, Polysics!!!, The Postal Service, Powerline, Powerman 5000, Prefab Sprout, Primal Scream, Presidents of the United States of America, Primitive Radio Gods, Prodigy, The Psychedelic Furs, Queen, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, The Rakes, Rammstein, The Rapture, Ratatat, Ray LaMontagne, Razorlight, Recover, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Redwalls, Reeve Oliver, Refused, Regina Spektor, Relient K, REM, Remy Zero, REO Speedwagon, Richard Ashcroft, Rick James, Rick Springfield, Ricky Gervais, Rise Against, RJD2, Robert Palmer, The Robins, The Robot Ate Me, Rock Kills Kid, The Rocket Summer, Rocky Votolato, Rod Stewart, Rooney, Röyksopp, Roy Orbison, Run-DMC, Ryan Adams, Sage Francis, Saigon, Salt-N-Pepa, Sam Roberts Band, Saosin, Saves the Day, Say Anything, Scarface, Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Scissor Sisters, Seal, Secret Machines, Semisonic, She Wants Revenge, Sherwood, The Shins, The Shore, Sigur Ros, Silverchair, Silversun Pickups, Silvertide, Simon &; Garfunkel, Simple Minds, Sleeping at Last, The Sleepy Jackson, Smashing Pumpkins, The Smiths, The Snake the Cross the Crown, Snoop Dogg, Snow Patrol, Some Action, Something Corporate, Son Volt, Sondre Lerche, Souls of Mischief, The Sounds of Animals Fighting, The Sounds, Spacehog, Spin Doctors, Spitalfield, Sponge, Spooks, Spoon, SR-71, Stars, The Starting Line, Steel Train, Steve Miller Band, Steve Winwood, Stevie Wonder, The Stills, Sting, Street Drum Corps, The Streets, The Strokes, Styx, Sufjan Stevens, Sugarcult, Sum 41, Supergrass, Super Furry Animals, Swollen Members, System of a Down, T.I., Tahiti 80, Taking Back Sunday, Talking Heads, Team Sleep, Tears For Fears, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, Teddybears Stockholm, Teenage Fanclub, Teitur Lassen, Tenacious D, Terminal, Thin Lizzy, Third Eye Blind, This Day &; Age, Thom Yorke, Thunderclap Newman, Thursday, Tilly and the Wall, Tiny Tim, TLC, Todd Rundgren, Tokyo Rose, Tom Cochrane, Tom Petty &; the Heartbreakers, Tone Loc, Tonic, Toto, Train, Transistor Transistor, Travis, TV on the Radio, The Twilight Singers, Twista, U2, Umbrellas, Uncle Tupelo, Under the Influence of Giants, Underoath, Unwritten Law, The Used, Usher, Vanessa Carlton, The Vanity, The Vaselines, Vertical Horizon, Verve Pipe, The Verve, The Wallflowers, Wang Chung, Warmen, Warren G, Watashi Wa, We Are Scientists, The Weakerthans, Weatherbox, Weerd Science, Weezer, Wham!, Whiskeytown, The White Stripes, The Who, Wilco, Willie Nelson, Wilson Phillips, Wolfmother, The Working Title, World Party, The Wreckers, Wyclef Jean, Xiu Xiu, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Yellow Second, Youth Group,manic street preachers, marshmallow, mason jennings, mercury rev, metric, midnight juggernauts, miracle chosuke, mono, morrissey, moving units, muse, my disco!, my morning jacket, my vitriol, the national, new order, new rhodes, the new york dolls, nick cave and the bad seeds, nina gordon, nine inch nails, no doubt, the olivia tremor control, the one am radio, omar rodriguez-lopez, orchestre baobob, the organ, patrick wolf, pelican, phantom planet, the pictures, pink grease, the pixies, pj harvey, placebo, plot to blow up the eiffel tower, the police, the polyphonic spree, portishead, queens of the stone age, rl burnside, rachael yamagata, radiohead, raein, the ramones, ratcat, the raveonettes, the red paintings, regurgitator, rufus rainwright, ryan adams, the sea and cake, the sex pistols, the shins, showcard, the silver jews, a silver mt. zion, the sleepy jackson, smoosh, snow patrol, starsailor, stellastarr*, the stills, the strokes, the subways, tears for fears, teenage fanclub, tiger army, tortoise, twisted sister, the united states of electronica, the unicorns, the velvet underground, waikiki, the walkmen, the wannadies, willy mason, wolfmother, xiu xiu, yo la tengoCongratulations , loser, you read them all:P Oh, and Cat Power

Fear of academics:)

I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of academics.

At this moment, I feel like my intestines are snakes. These snakes have just figured out how to fight and are steadily conquering my organs and becoming modern day Napoleons. Eventually, I can tell, these snakes will all turn on one another, and my torso will be no man's land.

For some reason, which I completely do not understand, I am feel worse than nervous about school for the rest of the year. It's my week of the graduating year. A lot is riding on my performance this year. I have never done well in school; I found that the safest and most enjoyable route was not to try very hard, which eventually fucks me like my future cellmate. This year my plan is to actually try (le gasp!) and become an overachiever instead of a horrible underachiever.

But in the end, all of this doesn't really eventuate to anything. There were and will continue to exist millions of insignificant details of our lives , our dreams and our successes. When the world ends, will anyone still be able to recall my name? And more importantly, when the world ends, will there be a syncronised sigh of relief for all the office slaves and school students struggling to become something. Anything.

The world may end, but until then it is all that is is beautiful. The air may be polluted, but it is still your's to breathe. The sun may burn your skin, but it grows your food, and keeps us alive. The water may go through a million chlorine cycles, but renews us every morning and/or night and sustains us, period.

I will be 18 this year. That is quite an achievement. 6570 days in existance. Not that anyone really cares though.

Do something, as excessive lethargy turns the soul to sludge.

Free trade is a good idea.