Les Poupees Russes

My general state of mind right now is that I can't find anything stimulating. I don't know whether it's the anxiety caused by my subjective thoughts on life that I have left that are rather large in size, or whether it's the brain chemistry circus that controls my emotions and thoughts that's causing it.I don't hold any qualms with life, just the pseudo in and out betweens of it all. Relationships, money, people. Fuck.

but then I think the ends justifies the means.

I've been working a lot. Money is useful. Flimsy relations with people is a bad idea. There's all different shapes, but just one size with people. Days filled with temporary predicaments violate my weeks and Uni is soon to begin once more (sigh) . Tomorrow night I was supposed to go out with someone. It won't happen. I am not overly upset, but the time alone left me introspective. Boys really aren't worth the trouble, most of the time. Yet for some reason, I am addicted to them. They have probably caused more pain in my life than anything else. The boys my age are so immature yet the older ones don't have time for younger girls. I , however, am terrible at committment along with other ' c ' words - just ask anyone. Fondness for someone is growing exponentially though - I don't like when this happens.

I just realized I am complaining about relationships. I am now officially a broken record. Hoorah.

SO whilst on my rampant rambles, here goes a spree of writing;I am not very good at these things: speaking foreign languages, math, music, art, walking, talking, being naked, being hairless, sports, going to school, getting deadly drunk, flying via wings, spitting ink, spitting, writing, sanity, being original, being, cooking, cleaning, being a woman, being a corgie, being the queen, making sand castles, sleeping, rascism, ignorance, activism, academics, reading, fucking shit up, fucking shit down, poetry, photography, sculpture, modeling, magic the gathering, antique appreasing, women, standing still, buying things, stealing things, eating, drinking, breathing, sneezing, sexuality, sun rising, flag raising, snowboarding, skiing, waterskiing, camping, movie watching, bird watching, ice skating, rollar skating, snow skating, video games, pornography, freestyling, beatboxing, sex, breakdancing, dancing, stripping, undressing, getting dressed, matching, lighting, smoking, firing, hiring, employment, money, spending, saving, committing, purpose, identifying, recognising, remembering, writing, writing, writing, poetry, literature, reading, resting, finding time, hiding time, sand castles, card games, blackjack, poker, round tables, history, sympathy, complaining, working, health, sickness, pregnancy, tattoos, piercings, commitment, cutting, glueing, tape, jumping rope, rhyming, postering, advertising, intimidating, roleplaying, typing, science, english, puzzles, geography, gymnastics, dancing, ballet, jazz, archeology, creativity, captivity, marine life, sewer maintence, computer maintence, computer virus, gothic art, gothic churchs, applying make up, multi-tasking, marriage, fatherhood, Father, farther, emo, knitting, climbing, swimming, diveing, careing, repeating myself, crusades, choir, fan belts, driving, chemistry, philosophy, christainity, emoticons, cell phones, castles, awkward moments, comedy, television again, sound, taste, perfume, skinning whales, surreal, Picasso, gas, fighting for natural resources, poker, making up my mind, paradoxs, palledromes, games, fun, hopscotch, candy, telling lies.

What I am good at: making out.

Orgasms and laughter are similar.